I Was Wrong...A Historic Day!!

After not blogging for almost a month (blame it on hectic finals) I am home and recent events call me to write.  As you may have guessed from the name of this post, I have to begin with a mea culpa.  Yes, I happily admit that I was wrong.  In a November 16th post, Mr. President, I joined the culture of public opinion and wrote a letter to President Obama expressing my disappointment that I believed he hadn't moved quickly enough to show support for the LGBT community.

As I've already said, I was happily wrong.  This past Saturday the Senate voted for the bipartisan bill repealing DADT to move forward for signature by the President.  After 17 years and 14,000 members were discharged under the policy, the President signed the bill into law yesterday.  In a moving speech during the signing ceremony, the President summed up the moment saying, "No longer will tens of thousands be asked to live a lie."

No longer should there ever be a question of someone's capability based on their sexuality.  What matters is all who desire to serve are not only given the same opportunity, but all those who serve should be recognized for their service.  I have said all along that I believe DADT only served to weaken our military, not strengthen it.

The President has done what he said he would on the campaign trail, he said he would repeal DADT, and he did.  I was wrong to jump on the bandwagon of public opinion.  I have never been so happy to be wrong in all my life!!

Giving Thanks

Today is a day of reflection.  We all (especially those of us in affluent nations) need times in our hectic lives to stop and think about where we are and where we are going.  Such a holiday as this provides us one of these necessary opportunities.

All around the country, people will gather with loved ones to share in a meal.  I won't deny my excitement, but I am prodded to ask deeper questions.  What is the purpose of Thanksgiving?  Have we lost sight of the intended purpose and potential power of this day?  The conclusions I am reaching may trouble you.  Maybe they will be the catalyst for some kind of change.  Nonetheless, I move forward.

We share a connection.  Whether or not you or I are conscious of it in our everyday lives doesn't make it any less true.  You may remember from my first post that I used the phrase "relational power"; well, here it is again, reminding us of something I believe we all need to hear.  Relational power is a phrase that expresses the belief that all things, at all times, are inextricably interconnected.  This reality radically shapes and informs my life.

So, with this foundation I return to Thanksgiving.  As has been taught in American schools for as long I know, the celebration of Thanksgiving is the annual commemoration of what has become known as The First Thanksgiving.  In this story, the pilgrims celebrate harvest with the Native Americans by sharing in a peaceful meal.

As I said before, I must ask deeper questions of this day.  What I wonder is how are we (the dominant, "normative" culture) remembering and honoring the truth of this story?  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a meal with loved ones as much as anyone else, but are we claiming our relational power in this story?  Simply, are we telling the truth to the younger generations?  Do they know, for example, that we forced Native Americans  off of their land and gave them blankets with smallpox not long after this first Thanksgiving?  Do they know of all the broken promises?  Do they know of the economic disparity in our country?

Again, don't get my intention in this post wrong, it isn't about a guilt trip on a holiday.  To the contrary, it is a call to claim the connection we share.  How can I, or any of us sit down to tables with more than enough food to eat, offering thanks for our connection to others (as I believe this is what Thanksgiving is about) without acknowledging that this is not how it has been or is for many in our country?  Where's the connection in that?

Statistics from Feeding America state that in 2009 50.2 million Americans (33 million adults, 17.2 million children) lived in "food insecure" households.  This statistic may shock you, but it is a reality.  Too often we in America seem to think that we are exempt from issues that face the rest of the world on a daily basis.  We seem to have the mentality that, "Sure, they may be starving in places like Africa, but that could never/doesn't happen in America."  Well, sadly it does.  As you and I sit down to meals that truly display our economic and social wealth.

This is not the way it should be.  As a theologian, I cannot help but think of Jesus on a day like this.  I am reminded of words that come from the author of Luke that are attributed to Jesus that are familiar, but often overlooked, "Give us this day our daily bread."  This short sentence is of course found in a longer prayer, and sadly I think it has lost its powerful meaning.  It was written at a time when those of lowest economic standing would have been worried about where their next meal was coming from.  For such words to be spoken would have been an expression of hope.  Can we imagine these words coming to us, "Please, can you share some food with me?"  Our relational connection, calls us to respond, just as I believe the pilgrims would have been prompted to in their time, we respond not because we hold power over another, but because our survival - our common life together as humanity - is dependent upon the welfare of another.

It is my hope that we are aware of the true history that comes with this holiday.  Yes, it was a peaceful gathering all those many years ago at the "first Thanksgiving", but that is not the whole story.  We celebrate connection today, and in doing so are persuaded by that connection to respond in life affirming, healing, and transformative ways for all of creation.


We gather together,
one creation,
not just one tribe or nation
we now share six billion faces

We gather together,
seeking wholeness,
reaching out to young and oldest

We gather here,
transformed hearts,
this new moment is the start

We give thanks for all we have,
committing to a brand new path

We acknowledge wrongs we've done,
our mouths are stuffed with love unsung!

Dear Mr. President

Dear Mr. President,

My name is Jon Hetherington and I write to you as a huge supporter.  It is my great joy to say that I worked locally to elect you and it is my high honor that the first presidential election I was eligible to vote for resulted in you taking office.  Two memories that will stay with me forever are the night that I was able to meet and have my picture taken with Mrs. Obama; the other being the night that I attended one of your rallies and every bone in my body was inspired to do all that I could to work for your election because of my belief in you and your vision.

Mr. President, I still believe.  I believe your vision is moving our country toward a better and brighter future.  It is because of this belief that I must tell you honestly: I’m afraid you’ve forgotten your vision and lost the passion that fired us up.

Please sir, don’t misunderstand me.  You have done incredible and necessary work in the face of obstruction by your political opposition; you passed a healthcare plan that directly affects me as someone with a disability, and I thank you for that.  You signed the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Act, as a gay man, I thank you and rejoice at its passage.  Arguably, the most significant work you have done is working to prevent the certain onset of a second Great Depression.  Never forget what you’ve accomplished sir, I believe that our country is better for it.

Yet in the face of all of this, your supporters and base are lost and in need of your leadership.  We need you to fight for us.  We need more than your words, we need action!

I have a very hard time understanding why your opposition is getting to shape the course of action for, and the debate in the country.  In a time when you have affirmed your commitment to facing the growing conflict in Afghanistan, why are highly qualified service members who want to continue serving still being discharged under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”?  I understand you want to repeal the law legislatively, but why not issue an executive order in the interim?  Isn’t “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” a threat to national security?  How does the discriminatory law uphold our American ideal of “one nation…with liberty and justice for all”?  Rather than liberty, it asks people to lie about who they are and trade integrity in the name of duty.  We need you.

Many of us feel as those we have been forgotten about.  You have at times called yourself a “fierce advocate” for people in the LGBT community, but we consistently see action that doesn’t match words.  I have felt disenfranchised and hurt, and I know I’m not alone.  You have my vote in 2012 sir, but I cannot speak for all progressives and liberals.  You have alienated us because we don’t see you fighting for us.  When I see right-wing commentators relying on the underlying and often explicit homophobia to garner support for their definitions of marriage or against same-sex adoption, I want to jump through the TV and scream!!  Mr. President, it’s not that I expect you to fight every battle for the LGBT community, you shouldn’t, I just want to see you speaking and feel in my heart as I once did that you truly do mean that you are that “fierce” advocate.

I fear what will happen in 2012.  I hate to say it, but it is my honest feeling.  I would hate to see the country be moved in a direction that is more exclusive, but this is what I see happening through the example of the midterm elections.  The problem was more than the opposition gaining control of the House, it is that your base and supporters by and large stayed home.

The time has come sir.  No more words, no more waiting for the obstruction to stop, you must be the leader we elected you to be.  Mr. President, it’s true, “yes we can”, but how can we without you?

Respectfully,

Jon Hetherington

"We Hold These Truths..."

"We hold these truths to be self-evident...life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." -Declaration of Independence

Tonight, I am glued to my TV.  No, it's not my usual Tuesday night reason (Glee), it's because tonight is election night.  Yes, I know that I am unusual in this, what 21 year old spends the night with MSNBC and CNN on?  Me.

Politics are important.  It is the exercise of our privilege as a citizens of the United States to be able to shape the social structure.  Really, if you think about it, this is what politics are about: the social power that shapes our common life together.  Who do we choose from among us to lead us?  Where do we see our values as a nation and whom can best help get us there?

To vote is to do what you can, it is engaging with a process where each one is given the opportunity to express "through the ballot box" what their values and hopes for the country are.  It is true that there is no guarantee that the outcome will be what you or I desire, but that speaks to the complexities involved in creating the society and world we seek.  You and I may "lose", but that does not mean we give up.  We continue to shape our communities and nation in our everyday lives.

To me, this is what our founding "mothers" and "fathers" envisioned when they left England.  The right to free exercise, yes, the right to life, to liberty, to the pursuit of happiness.  How is it that so many of us have taken this for granted?  Let me be the first to say that I am and have been a grumbler, I have been and often am partisan; but how is it that we have allowed ourselves the right to anger over what happens when we refuse to get involved?  If you have been or are unhappy with the state of our common life together in the U.S., I say join the club, I have been and am there too.  Yet today, I voted.  I feel strongly that we live a relational existence where what we do (and don't do) or say (and don't say) truly affects us all.  I wish more people felt this way.  Sitting out and complaining doesn't take active charge in changing your daily reality.  Participation isn't even a question for me, it's a given.

"Win" or "lose" is not really what happens.  We still live with the outcomes.  What does happen is that our country is changed.  The true concern is what we do with this fact.

This all matters to me (and on some level I hope it matters to you)  The future is literally created in our hands. Are we ready to accept that?  Today I took charge to change my country, will you join me?

"And You Have To Give Them HOPE"

"And you have to give them hope.  Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great.  Hope that all will be all right." -Harvey Milk 

These words spoken by gay activist/icon/pioneer Harvey Milk continue to speak deep truth, even 32 years after they were originally spoken.  Especially today.  Today, across the nation people are wearing purple remembering and honoring the lives of victims of bullying.  This remembrance comes in the wake of six much talked about suicides in the month of September.  What has brought these suicides and the causes behind them into the nation's conscious is the fact that the young who took their lives were either LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) or perceived to be. 


The heartbreaking fact is that these people did not see the hope.  They didn't see any other way out of the despair and ridicule they faced everyday.  It is a dark place to feel all alone, to hide in fear because you don't think anyone can or ever would truly love you for who you are.


I know that fear.  Before I finally found the courage to come out two years ago, I always lied about who I am.  I watched movies with friends and said things like, "Oh yeah man, she's so hot!"  Worse than the constant lying was the self-denial.  I fought an internal struggle where I suppressed every thought and emotion, I told myself that I wasn't gay.  I envisioned that I could go my whole life without telling anyone I'm gay.


I have to admit that coming out was the scariest thing of my life, but also the most liberating!!  To live your truth is the greatest choice in the world.  I let go of the fear and love poured over me, the closet door was smashed, never again would I let it be my home.


As I heard of the suicides, my heart broke.  I wanted so much to wrap up these young men (not much younger than me) and tell them that love exists.  Life is brilliantly beautiful, there are people who will love and accept you no matter what.  Life does get better.


At the root of the issue here isn't just bullying, that is only a symptom.  The true problem is the homophobia that has seeped into the culture.  Not only are LGBT people discriminated against at schools, we are attacked from pulpits and bombarded by the media.  Men are told from a very young age not to be emotional (that's what girls do, "you're a fag") and women are told that their place in society is not in the forefront (that's where boys are meant to be, you are meant to be the thin, gorgeous, sexual object of men).  Society at large isn't giving hope, to the contrary, it is taking it away.


I am here to say that this isn't the way it is meant to be!!  This is not all there is!!  There are people who support you who want the best for you.  Love is out there.  YOU AREN'T ALONE!!  I believe in hope.  The hope Harvey Milk represents.  I believe in the hope being shared today.  


We must share hope!!  We must remember.




The following is a poem, entitled "Are We Listening To Their Silence?", I wrote in response to the suicides:


Homophobia and bullying to blame,
the loss of lives,
shattered by pain

This is written to give a voice,
HATRED IS A DISASTROUS CHOICE!!

Will it ever stop,
do we understand the cost,
we cannot allow any more loss

The problem is real,
we have to face it,
not watch the news and become complacent

Homophobia and bullying to blame,
the loss of lives,
shattered by pain

Are we listening to their silence,
do we see our world teeming with violence?

We are needed more than ever,
shining hope in darkest weather,
I know the truth that life gets better

Asher Brown

Raymond Chase

Tyler Clementi

Billy Lucas

Seth Walsh

Justin Aaberg

            

If you or someone you know is in need of help, please contact The Trevor Project The Trevor project is the leading national organization focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among the LGBT community.  They can be contacted via their website (see link) and their lifeline (which is free, confidential, and 24/7) at 866-4-U-Trevor (866-488-7386)

O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A

For the first time in four years of college, I got to have a true fall break.  Fall break is a few days every year when most students leave school to go somewhere and enjoy themselves.  I usually have to stay in town and hear about everyone's amazing adventures...but not this year!

This year, I got invited to spend break with two of my best friends and go to one of their hometowns; meaning that I have gotten the opportunity to visit Oklahoma for the first time ever.  And what a time it has been!!  As we arrived right around midnight on Saturday, I had the awe-inspiring experience of seeing one of the most stirring sights of my life: the Oklahoma City bombing memorial against the dark sky.   This brought tears to my eyes and I will never forget it!


Saturday also included another big event in my immersion in Southern culture: Sooner football!  Sadly, we didn't get to watch the game because of some stupid dispute Dish Network was having with Fox.  It didn't matter because the Sooners DOMINATED!  Iowa State University 52-0 (how ironic that they would be playing Iowa while we were on break)  BOOMER SOONER!

Today (Monday), has been spent sharing in yet again another Southern staple: FOOD!!  For lunch, we picked up my friend's mom from work and got BBQ at an incredible restaurant called Earl's (http://www.earlsribpalace.com/) (side note: Earl's is located right next to the world headquarters of....SONIC!)

Then we stopped at really cool gas station/diner called Pops, where you can buy all sorts of beverages from all over the world in pop tab bottles.  The bottles can be seen from the street and it looks like the walls are made of them (http://route66.com/)

We ended the day with dinner at a place called Braums that is a well known dairy chain that has locally made ice cream.  It reminded me of the Umpqua dairy chain that we have back home (http://www.braums.com/)







I have had such a WONDERFUL time in Oklahoma and have really felt at home.  What an incredible fall break that I will never, ever forget!  Yes, a Northerner has fallen in love with the South... thanks so much to the Gates family for their warm welcome and generous hospitality!!

A Little Monster...Transformed By Gaga

I am a little monster.  There's no other way to say this, I am a little monster.  Millions of people around the world agree with me.  Lady Gaga is profoundly important in my life.  In a world where so many people are torn down and oppressed, I have found freedom.  You may be reading this wondering, as many do, why Gaga?

My answer is simple.  I am transformed.  Gaga is more than a "singer", she is the leader of a revolution.  Her life is more than music, it is more than words set to a beat, she actively inspires me to find the best in me and live it to the fullest.  As someone who faces injustice simply because I am disabled and my sexuality doesn't fit the "norm", I know that Gaga understands.  She isn't the typical star that spits out whatever the record label tells her, she speaks her mind and stands up for what she believes.  Called a "freak" by many in the music industry and society, Gaga has shown me how to embrace what makes me who I am and say, "Hell yes!!  You're damn right!"  You can call me a freak if you want, but I know the truth is that really, I'm a free bitch!!  

What's so scary about this?  Well, it's freedom, the liberation, the raw power.  If those of us who have been misunderstood and mistreated really knew how worthy of justice and voices we are, we just might have the courage to shake things up and take our rightful place in society.

Like I said, Gaga speaks up about what she believes.  She rallies the monster family to fight against unjust policies like Don't Ask, Don't Tell, she constantly spreads a message of love to so many, especially those of us in the LGBT community.  

Everything Gaga does is about having an impact and expressing how living inside someone else's definition for you isn't what life is about.  Whether it is in the artistic expression of her fashion and the meanings behind it, or her music that is dripping with liberation, Gaga has established that she isn't the pop fad people want to label her as.

I am proud to be who I am and I am not ashamed to be a little monster.  I am a free bitch because of her.  Here's to you Mother Monster!!  "...raise a glass to mend all the broken hearts of all my fucked up friends... you've left me speechless."

Speechless - Lady Gaga

Beginning

Maybe you'll like what I say, maybe you won't.  Maybe you're a friend or a stranger.  I don't know what has brought you here.  Whatever the reason, I hope my stroll through life will help you with yours.  That's why I'm writing this - to share this wonderful, painful, amazing, heartbreaking, holy, profane, reverent, and yes, irreverent journey with any and all who will join me.

A word on who I am.  I am first and foremost a unique piece in the puzzle that is life.  I believe that at its deepest, life is about recognizing the connection with, between, around, among, and through everything in existence.  Whether this is in the form of other people, animals, plants, the air, sun, leaves, raindrops, or the molecules that fundamentally form these realities, all is inseparably and inextricably related.  This is what matters most.

So, as this form of writing and relational (you will see this word A LOT - get used to it) expression takes shape. I hope you will take time to join me and think about where you're at on this journey we share.