"And You Have To Give Them HOPE"

"And you have to give them hope.  Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great.  Hope that all will be all right." -Harvey Milk 

These words spoken by gay activist/icon/pioneer Harvey Milk continue to speak deep truth, even 32 years after they were originally spoken.  Especially today.  Today, across the nation people are wearing purple remembering and honoring the lives of victims of bullying.  This remembrance comes in the wake of six much talked about suicides in the month of September.  What has brought these suicides and the causes behind them into the nation's conscious is the fact that the young who took their lives were either LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) or perceived to be. 


The heartbreaking fact is that these people did not see the hope.  They didn't see any other way out of the despair and ridicule they faced everyday.  It is a dark place to feel all alone, to hide in fear because you don't think anyone can or ever would truly love you for who you are.


I know that fear.  Before I finally found the courage to come out two years ago, I always lied about who I am.  I watched movies with friends and said things like, "Oh yeah man, she's so hot!"  Worse than the constant lying was the self-denial.  I fought an internal struggle where I suppressed every thought and emotion, I told myself that I wasn't gay.  I envisioned that I could go my whole life without telling anyone I'm gay.


I have to admit that coming out was the scariest thing of my life, but also the most liberating!!  To live your truth is the greatest choice in the world.  I let go of the fear and love poured over me, the closet door was smashed, never again would I let it be my home.


As I heard of the suicides, my heart broke.  I wanted so much to wrap up these young men (not much younger than me) and tell them that love exists.  Life is brilliantly beautiful, there are people who will love and accept you no matter what.  Life does get better.


At the root of the issue here isn't just bullying, that is only a symptom.  The true problem is the homophobia that has seeped into the culture.  Not only are LGBT people discriminated against at schools, we are attacked from pulpits and bombarded by the media.  Men are told from a very young age not to be emotional (that's what girls do, "you're a fag") and women are told that their place in society is not in the forefront (that's where boys are meant to be, you are meant to be the thin, gorgeous, sexual object of men).  Society at large isn't giving hope, to the contrary, it is taking it away.


I am here to say that this isn't the way it is meant to be!!  This is not all there is!!  There are people who support you who want the best for you.  Love is out there.  YOU AREN'T ALONE!!  I believe in hope.  The hope Harvey Milk represents.  I believe in the hope being shared today.  


We must share hope!!  We must remember.




The following is a poem, entitled "Are We Listening To Their Silence?", I wrote in response to the suicides:


Homophobia and bullying to blame,
the loss of lives,
shattered by pain

This is written to give a voice,
HATRED IS A DISASTROUS CHOICE!!

Will it ever stop,
do we understand the cost,
we cannot allow any more loss

The problem is real,
we have to face it,
not watch the news and become complacent

Homophobia and bullying to blame,
the loss of lives,
shattered by pain

Are we listening to their silence,
do we see our world teeming with violence?

We are needed more than ever,
shining hope in darkest weather,
I know the truth that life gets better

Asher Brown

Raymond Chase

Tyler Clementi

Billy Lucas

Seth Walsh

Justin Aaberg

            

If you or someone you know is in need of help, please contact The Trevor Project The Trevor project is the leading national organization focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among the LGBT community.  They can be contacted via their website (see link) and their lifeline (which is free, confidential, and 24/7) at 866-4-U-Trevor (866-488-7386)